A FRIDAY EXPERIENCE
Shua! Shua! Shua! Shua!
Oloshi wo lo n we ni time yii?( Who is taking his bath at this time of the morning?) Said Rasaq as he left the room to fetch (its always Alfa Monsur Oyeniyi Habeeb). Goes back into the room Beejay wake up its already time. Ooo thanks was all he could say. The red markings on his body shows that the Mosquitoes had a great feast on him. Ajayi entered the room as normal. He’s one of the house captains that I find confusing. He sleeps in another hostel where he isn’t needed while neglecting his own. Ajayi always takes his bath in record time. 5 minutes the longest. Rasaq please wait for me said Beejay but we aren’t in the same math class.
The C class for the bright ones in maths is always half empty. People in this class rarely comes but always must I meet Oladoja Blessing a weird looking but good buddy. Today we are all using Dining hall. Mr Ogunyemi the man that wants the best for the students is always there on time. As usual Girls start coming but wait they are all on socks already nothing bad but wait is Today friday? Sajosh answered me nodding his head while dressing up. Saju what are you doing in Maths class(lol like as if he isn’t a student). I looked to my left side Diya. Wait what’s happening. Omo this is Yawa o.
AFTER MATHS CLASS
Boys started off with a race prefect o or no prefect they were o sha running. Ah God why did they introduce Spaghetti to the Dinning Menu. I got back to hostel while dragging with Beejay to see who could run faster but all this: hustling in Disguise. All the Boys in the hostel dressed up already. Ooo! Where are my books? Sandal? Socks? Looked over Sajosh’s bunk and I saw that Tunde( Tunchie PaPa still dey sleep?) Please nobody should wake him up said Potoki. Have got to rush things up. From my calculations only Sajosh and Diya are in Dinning now Fagba is dressing up so quick his uniforms were on before the clock ticked a minute. Omo my library is full already how do I find my notes? Well made it out and already on the way to dinning. In walking I see hustling. Malik was walking like he was running. I have to hasten up to meet up but he’s so damn fast and good at this.
God its already a full house. Bolu gazed over the Benue table and I saw tears forming right inside the Retina but Man gas to be strong. I dropped on my table. To make the first ten fight of the fittest. To get a cooler of Spag takes more then strength. To get food comes with more muscle. Looked over to the Benue table Khalid is going serving how predictable KuBe to his right was giving him the Morale he needs to serve and Scodo already folding plates already in case of incasity that will still occur. This side of the dinning we don’t pray. We serve right at the delivery of the cooler. Diya serve now. Diya! Diya! Diya! From no where almost immediately appeared Tunchie (but how possible) then Beejay. I hailed him Berryb until he brought out 6 plates from behind. Ta lo ni plate? Ehn Who owns the plate? We all asked. Almost immediately the table was full. Ah God. Dreams of a good breakfast shattered.
Suddenly Gbru! Gbru! Gbru! Benue table Soun Table Osun Table Adeseun. Right from where I was sitting I could see Baba 70 am sure he must have pioneered what occurred on Adeseun’s table. NB: please if you meet B70 outside don’t joke with his food. He might change it for you. Diya served finished. No fights No quarrels except from Tunde who can’t survive a single day without complaining. Diya! Diya! Diya! I shouted see what you served me. Can you eat this? Ehn you’re always cheating whenever you serve soon almost everyone on the table joined and agreed to my claims. Next time serve my plate like this you’d see what will happen. Empty threats everybody knows that even though have beaten the tough guy in a non-violent fight in a record of 11 defeats in just a minute. Something that triggers fear in the guy whenever the possibility of a real fight occurs. Fagba has eaten his food finish and he did a clean job that you’d wonder whether they’ve served the plate. Looking at me he said silently. ‘Rasaq Se wa se Bargain? Always for the best offer. If you need something from me you accept my terms. Only Sanni understands this which he finally used against me. ‘Two Akara’ I said. The guy knowing fully well that he has no other alternative quickly agreed and I sat waiting for the last prayer already to used to this kinda things. Empty Stomach to Friday Classes. Dining is over for us but its just starting for the prefects. We have just 54 prefects but inside the dinning you’d see more than 200 people waiting to devour foods meant for just 54 people. The Prefect Table I knew as a Junior student was one that is rarely full. But things has changed. Furious Ambition you can see in their eyes. Suddenly! Gba! Gba! Gba! Prefect table empty already. And almost immediately did I hear Ajala speaking like someone who is singing an elergy. ‘Sincerely what you guys are doing is not funny’ Laughing out loud Potoki said ‘HeadBoy tun solo’. While some are busy working on 3 plates some nothing to turn too and from a corner you’d see Star boy looking helpless as usual and close to him will you see Abu 3 plates yet not willing to give out anyhow.
SS3A! SS3A! SS3A! You can never expect anything other than noise from this class. No day ever pass with not more than ten teachers having something to say about the class. I guess MRS OLUREMI must have been more than excited when the change of class teachers was done. Passing F they would still be sweeping. E always silent you’d wondered if Humans were there. D silent but something is always going on. C always stealing our brooms to sweep our class. B nothing much goes on but am always checking through to catch a glimpse of someone. A class its either its early morning argument, or dirty class or some JSS1 boys sweeping the class with what we call broom that doesn’t contain more than 5 broomsticks how brute a treatment is that ehn? First class Maths Class uhn!!!! Class still dirty what to do. My Class Captain always up and doing finds a broom and sweeps the class to his best capability.
Boys and girls greet your teacher always the first thing you’d hear from Mr Odoje the class maths teachers. Odojs! Odojs! Odojs! Odojs! The boys would hail the man. Lol! The man is always cheerful and understanding. Boys and Girls let’s do maths. (After some minutes) Have you done the Assignment I gave you? No the whole class chorused!!! Are you all Mad? He asked. Lol. Light punishments then he would release us. So many things to say about the man but would say a little about his class. Mariam stop wasting your fathers money? As usual Mariam is always sleeping in class but active during free periods.Why are you all sleeping? What did you eat this morning? Spagg Bj would always answer the Spagg is Spagging you then. EThe whole unserious class as usuall would fall into a chorused eh! Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh! Then the man looked at Bolu. Pathetically he said. ‘You shouldn’t have been brought to the city’ to Tunde’ Eleyin Goro Omu Malu Lo ma mu abi? Lol serious business again. Suddenly Yee! Yee! For Saju to have said Yee! Something must have happened. Everybody looking at either Habeeb, Borbo or Bayo then you should know someone must have polluted. Something that has turned to a kind of competition and has earned us so much punishment in recent classes. The whole class disrupts. Everybody kneel down ahahah! I said kneel down! Bolaji go and get me cain. Its always a peaceful process whenever we’re being beaten. Not many girls in our class do form. After an hour of Maths class wasted by the truants in my class have to go to Library to try gather myself.
3RD PERIOD ECONOMICS (MR SHOW)
Mr Show! Mr Show! Mr Show! The name alone sends everybody trembling within a wink of the eye the class is empty of economics class foreigners. The only thing I know of Economics class is the ‘Good Morning sir’ the others, nobody waits to hear. $
Be silent a sign hanging down reads but no one pays attention to this. There’s this funny cardboard poster that reads ‘ if you found any item please return’. Thank God!! you can never come to the library on a Friday Morning and not find an ‘A’ class bae to hang around but today they are more than one. Chibs! Let’s get started I said. The Ozark Trail watch I got as a gift from my bro is always coming handy as more than just one of the Baes is always eager to rock it but the problem is that once its with them it might take weeks to retrieve.
Always to my Daddy, my guardian my teacher, any other good thing you call him is true. Entering the staffroom always draw attention. You have to greet everyone you meet as they all keep calling you ‘ARIWO! ARIWO’! Always there to stuff something out of my Daddy and add to my debt with him. Ended the term with an impressive Ten Thousand Naira collected. From the rear end I could see Sanni the prodigal ward always forming in front of the Mythical Mr Ayee. The man sure knows how to deal with him everytime he misbehaves.
Friday is always filled with free periods. Ooo! Just a period remaining before Government Class. When you don’t have money to buy something during break, you either head to the library or start solving your series.
Government Class ( always Serious Business)
Mr Bamgbade! Mr Bamgbade! The Legendary Mr Bamgbs! The man is a living experience of good twenty years of Government as a subject teaching. The mood in his class is always jollific, serious and interesting. Never has a lesson passed without my name being mentioned to attest to his claims about my brother. The man would take us down memory lane forget the topic and shows how the world is really to us. At the end of the day just ten minutes to brush through the syllabus after the remaining twenty minutes has been spent on guiding us.
DYEING AND BLEACHING CLASS( MUM FAD)
There are some people who dare not show their face in this class. Amoo Olaposi. A young man shaping his life like Jackson’s own but you have to understand the facts that Micheal Jackson always pays his debts and bills which you failed to do. Always hectic fun! Interesting. Most people in the class do not have notes and there’s always someone’s note to laugh about. Good Vocally but whenever she writes OMG there’s much to it than just the handwriting.
HOSTEL AFTER CLASS
Gists flowing already everybody is tired Diya is smelling like fish Tunde won’t stop talking about how many wraps of Eba he ate. Suddenly! Moses! Moses! Moses! Chimu is coming go and hide go and hide. The unforgettable night that changed Moses bragging ways would remain evergreen. Once again he proves he’s not scared by saying back ‘Ki lo se le?'(though silently done) ( chimu mayweather moses pacquaio)
Time to go prep boys already booking spagg, rice, indomie , bread and egg with Ganja. Have got to go mosque.
AFTER MOSQUE PREP STARTED ALREADY
WALK QUIETLY TO YOUR CLASSES! One would hear Mr Adegboyega shouting Thunderously across the hallway. This makes it impossible for anyone to lie about not hearing what he said. Still in my uniform God don’t let VP Onuagba come please. Halfway through Prep he’s eye blinding touch flashed from a corner of our class. God o titan already nothing to do now. Some were already making their escapes to the hostel and one of the unlucky few was KOGBO(PELUOLA DAVID) his sight that day was pitiful ( N lu ti e baje loni “please sir”). We were called out class by class. The man addressed us and final warning he gave us once again. I won’t lie to you this man is a man of numerous talents and this is why I find him amazing. While he was talking someone giggled and that didn’t cause another problem as he identified the person himself. Alade Bolaji up till now am still wondering how you managed to pass the night after he landed that heavyweight knock on your head.
GIRLS YOU CAN LEAVE!!!
Today was somehow peaceful the dog of the class has remained ever silenced after receiving the shock wave knock. Where is this girl? Finally drops letter goodnight. Then the Disguised Satan among us rose slowly from his abode. “Hello” He said grabbing everyone’s attention at once. Rasaq Mr Adegboyega is still around fha. He went on not minding the man’s presence. Well the man might ignore his disturbance since they are somehow close. He uttered the most disgusting thing I never thought I’d hear. ‘IS THERE GOD’ everyone turned and muttered almost immediately “yes there is God’. It didn’t end there he went further by asking that someone who is brilliant should give him clear and undoubting reasons to support their claim. What’s wrong with him I thought? The whole class was silent. No one ready to answer the question yet. Then courageous and devoted Christian Pastor Bolaji said yes and he defended his claim with strong fact. This guy though unbelievably smart is one of those I think God gave brain but have misused it. Abdulrasaq Laughed then he started stating, talking facts quotations from the holy books scientific proves and so many more. He left the class in a dumb state. No one could tackle him again. Still not knowing what happened, MR Azeez switched off the generator.
So many has happened already. Ganja was in a corner looking devastated. Only Potoki could relate what happened to us. Ganja’s phone has been seized. One of the things that turned our room into a tourist center is gone which means less customer in the day. There’s this problem of identifying some people in our room once the light goes off. Justus is the most citable example as even during the day seeing him under the clear lighting of the sun is difficult talkless of when light has been taken; collision cant be evaded. Sanni! Sanni! Sanni! Rasaq was shouting from outside I guess he must have a girl gist for him. The guy gets a lot of letters daily and I wonder who writes them.
Yeeee! Yeeee! Tunde shouted when he sighted Basky sileing bread and egg at a corner of his bed where its almost impossible to know something is going on. Well he has been exposed to the general public soon the roommates, scavengers from other rooms and people that want revenge would soon surround him and what at first seem bountiful gone.
To get to your bed isn’t a problem but to sleep is the issue. Mosquitoes abound from their hiding spots to start working on our bodies. Oooooo! Ta lo n lo ita? Awon efon yii ti poju. Always immediately fog starts wetting the open space. Sanni where’s that coil you bought asked BJ. See its not working its not killing them at all. OMG you cant cover your body heat and you cant expose your body MOSQUITOES. I ushered my prayers to my self and while dozing off gently I thought about how hectic today was. ONCE A FEGOCIAN ALWAYS A FEGOCIAN